Himbo Hitman by Saxon James was the most fun I’ve had reading a book in a long time. Buckle up for utter nonsense, insane shenanigans and the kind of truly stupid decision making that only this particular ensemble of characters could pull off.
Down on his luck and desperate to get his act together so that his sister, Margot, will stop worrying about him, Perry makes what I will magnanimously call, an ill informed decision. He goes to Lethal Poison, yes that is the name of the shady bar in this book, and asks some friendly ruffians for a job. At Tommy and Everett’s behest and despite Arlie’s deep skepticism that Perry is even remotely capable of anything resembling crime, she takes pity on him and gives him a shot *ba dum tss*
See, the thing is, it’s hard not to love Perry. He’s a golden retriever in human form. A bit of an air head, but a total sweetheart. No thoughts, just vibes. A himbo. Think Andy from Parks & Recreation, Jason from The Good Place or my personal favorite, Jamie Tartt from Ted Lasso.
“Perry is a steam train. A whirlwind. Inertia. The kind of force that can’t be stopped.“
Perry is, to put it lightly, a walking chaotic disaster and the world’s worst Hitman with the most convoluted logic I’ve ever heard. Super sweet of Arlie to employ the man, but if there was a Hitman Yelp, Perry would be getting zero stars. Nada. Zilch.
He’s too pure for this world and likes people way too much to kill anyone without good reason. Now I know what you’re thinking, he needs to pay his rent. He has bills. Is that not reason enough? No, it is not.
The first two times Perry is sent on a hit he very sincerely and genuinely has his targets pinky swear that they’ll flee town, change their names, go into hiding, etc. and then proceeds to collect the check. Yeah, you read that right. The man relies on the integrity of a pinky swear to keep him safe and alive.
As they say third time’s the charm because for his third assignment, Perry decides it’s finally time for him to follow through. A misplaced sense of workplace ambition. Which is unfortunate for St. Clare, his new target. He corners St. Clare in a deserted alley and when he goes to do the deed, Perry shoots St. Clare’s ear rather than the head shot he’d been going for. It all cumulates in a (you guessed it) pinky swear to leave town and play dead.
The only problem is St. Clare really isn’t the run and hide type. Especially not when his brother, Colin, is missing. So, yeah, he breaks the super sacred pinky swear oath and sticks around. Which isn’t a huge problem, until he shows up to his local coffee shop for his morning coffee and Perry is the barista. (Listen, he recognized that perhaps a life of crime was not for him and found a service job. He’s trying. Okay?) Perry recognizes him instantly and of course feels intensely and irrationally betrayed.
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What follows is people shooting at Perry and St. Clare when they find out the deed was not actually done.
What follows is an insane alliance between would be killer, would be victim, and would be victim’s best friend, Lars.
As an aside, we love Lars. He’s super into astrology, will read you your horoscope and consult it before making any decisions. A giant sweetheart of a man who is not at first (rightfully so) Perry’s biggest fan.
Meanwhile, St Clare has a nonexistent level of self preservation and I’d be concerned for his well being if I wasn’t so utterly delighted that it leads him to Perry.
At best, Perry is delusional and oblivious. At worst, he’s a walking liability. He lives in an apartment with mice in the walls – one of which he’s formed a bond with and named Sir Squeakerton. He doesn’t understand why people hold onto grudges instead of looking at the silver lining (yes, even the people he’s been hired to kill. Especially St. Clare). His genuine defense is “well I know I’ve shot you in the ear, but it was an accident and I didn’t actually kill you so I’d say bygones ya know?” I adore and am amused by him in equal measure.
“Maybe this whole thing is supposed to be my journey of self-discovery. Forget the madmen with guns—myself included—all these events were purely meant to bring me and St. Clare together. The universe is a wild and wonderful thing.”
Yeah, so because the whole people wanting to kill him for not actually following through on the hit portion of the Hitman job description isn’t enough for Perry to be handling… he decides to speed run a sexuality crisis with a man he legitimately was hired to kill.
It’s pure romcom genius. What’s better than a meet cute? A meet shoot.
Somehow, despite the absurd premise and amidst the chaos, Perry and St. Clare manage to build a real relationship. Oh, and the missing brother, people wanting them dead bits are all taken care of too. (You would not believe the twists we take to get us there.)
This was so different from Saxon’s normal style and yet had absolutely everything I’ve come to love from her books – complete ridiculousness, hilarious situations and heartwarming character relationships.
“Hey, does this mean I’m cupid? I mean, I shot you and now you’re in love with me, so—”
“You’re not cupid.”
“Are you sure? I think there’s an argument there.”
I give in and humor him, because how can I not? He’s singlehandedly the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met, and it’s my favorite thing about him. “It was love at first shot.”
If you’ve never heard of Saxon James or the Sadenverse before now, do yourself a favor and dive in immediately. Seriously, I lost a whole month once devouring every single book. Each more delightfully ridiculous than the last. Read this book and tell me I’m wrong. Go on. I dare you.
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